there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
