Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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