sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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