Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
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