Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
