My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
