Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
