I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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