remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
