ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
