Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize