I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
