i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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