when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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