Pappa wants mamma naked
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
