Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
