They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
