are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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