But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize