Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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