Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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