You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
