i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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