did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
