he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
