i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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