I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So gin and wine won't be happening again
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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