she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Boobs speak an international language.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The Olympian is in my bed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
