i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
