She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You took a bar mat shot.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize