Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
