I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
