i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He shit in the fireplace
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
