drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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