I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Randomize