she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
