my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
