We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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