it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
