Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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