Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
