every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
