I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
