jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize