Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
