dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
