Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Randomize