My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
