We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Pooping to opera.
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