In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
