So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize