You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
