Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
