All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
