You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
