this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
