I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
