lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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