Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
