if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
