CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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