ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
