Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
