Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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