Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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