How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think my fart just growled at me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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