I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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