he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
