hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
