Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
