is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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