Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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