i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
