if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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