Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
