You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
