guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
